The Academy

I expand in dreams and contract when I'm awake, bracing for an impact that never comes

A staff of willpower pulls me out of bed each morning. I want to rely less on this staff, it gets easier in the afternoon. I became fixated on the willpower pain of changing inertia. I kept wincing from the pain of change. I have this bag of tricks and observations; what's it gonna take to contextualize them? I have a grasp on color but not much patience; I have willpower issues and complain too much. It wasn't obvious to me; the contextualization part of my mind wasn't working right the past couple of years

Time for class. I keep running into these evangelical Christians on the way to school. Perhaps they can sense I'm going in the wrong direction. How do you deal with the unsatisfactory bits of being human. How do you deal with boredom. I should stop brushing my hair. I'm going back to my roots: becoming a fan of something trite. I think that's why it overwhelms me, the idea that I want to smell good everyday of my life. The idea of applying perfume everyday overwhelms me.

I play this game where I try to walk as close as I can to people in the hallway. But no one says anything.

The lessons for today:

• Never grow up!!!!!! Never take action!!!!!!!!!!!
• Healthy young men are the enemy!!!!!!!!!

We chant the teachings and the teachers reward us with praise. I felt lethargic. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I want my bright focus to come back. My voice is important, even though I'm some runt kid. The war between men and women has been going on for a long time.

It's lunch time. My friend doesn't reciprocate the affection I feel for her. She takes the lessons seriously. This is the most painful part of the day.

Oh, I said the lessons with the most fervour and graduated the top of my class. The academy wanted to reward me so they gave me a bed to rest in.

I rested nicely and was rewarded with more rest.